Musis Respublica Floret
Al's World Tour - Russia
Currently in Boris Yeltsin's hame toon, Yekaterinberg, in the Ural Mountains. Loadsa vodka factories and mines. It's great. Going to the ballet tonight to see the prawn cocktail and steak of ballet, "Swan Lake". Looking forward to the bit where we get to throw rice on stage and that.
Flew into St. Petersburg last week, after watching Engerlund get shat on by the Brazilians at Gatwick. I wiped a tear from my eye with my yellow shirt, and performed a sombre samba around the departure lounge.
I was round in St. Petersburg when I saw it was a time for a change. I killed the Tsar and his ministers, then I staged a screen debate. I rode a tank in the general's ranks when the blitz..... (quietly tailing off....)
St. P's was cool. Moscow was cooler. EVERYONE drinks beer, at ANY time of the day. You'll see petite birds dottering around in high heels quaffing huge bottles of Baltika on the street in their lunch break. Speaking of birds, the only ones with skirts below their thighs are nuns. It's un-blonde-a-believable in Russia. Unlike Muslim countries, the women don't have to cover their hair when they go into churches - hair is seen as "quite sexy" in Muslim countries - because the blokes have to develop such self control on the street anyway! It's Nikita-tastic. Caryn thinks so too (* thump!*)
Saw Lenin's heed in Red Square. He does look a wee bit pasty now it has to be said. Nae point in trying to wedge me pilchards under his hands for a snap as the guards even asked me to take me sunglasses off me bonce, so I couldn't really see them propping up the old soak for a snap.
Got the overnight Trans-Sib from Moscow to Yekaterinberg, which was fun. Cool trains, with stern provodnitska's checking how much hot water you've taken for yer tea (they join the nun's in the below-the- thigh category). Going for a wander in the Ural Mountains tomorrow, and then off for a 4 day white water broon trooser rafting trip in the Altai Mountain. Just as well there's been torrential flooding in the Ruskie mountains to speed the raft up a wee bit!
Menya Budet Mutit (I'm going to be sick)
Laters Devushkas!
21st June 2002
Alan Mitchell
RHS 1984 - 1990
NEXT PAGE --->Mongolia
- Lenin impersonation. Links to bigger picture.
- Nikita scalps Al